Bathroom Epiphany

Writing is a form of therapy. Sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear which is inherent in the human situation. -Graham Greene

People often ask me if I miss SoCal, the place where I half grew up. And I usually tell them, kind of, because my family and friends are here. As much as I hate the traffic and tap water, it’s still a base for me.

But boy oh boy did this trip remind me of how much the land isn’t for me. It’s like years of self growth and relentless work on being a better human get undone in a snap. I feel all the emotions I rarely feel now back in the Bay. It’s like being trapped in a case where people just freely push my buttons. Buttons that I (still) didn’t know I have, buttons that I thought are no longer there, and buttons that I didn’t know were my buttons.

Everything just teleported me back to the times in my life where I felt hopeless in social rejection, loneliness, and complete disgust with myself. Like most disasters, I did not see this coming. It’s basically fantastic.

Can I take a day off on Monday to take care of my existential crisis? Now I really am not sure who I am or who I have became. It’s rather ironic since I had a relatively strong sense of self worth and groundedness (NOT A WORD) about myself a couple days ago, thanks to all the volunteering I’ve been doing. But nope, not anymore. It’s like life just decided to laugh in my face and say, “JK. you ain’t over this shit!!”


What a bitch.

  • Me: ....so after analyzing every clue, I still don't really know if he likes me.
  • Maddux: yeah I don't know either.
  • Me: But it's fun to think about it. Pseudo-crushes are fun.
  • Maddux: They are!
  • Me: Except they're not real...
  • Maddux: This is when we get sad.
  • Me: I know. Can we eat the pizza now?

rhamphotheca:

So, I tried the thing where you put carrot tops in shallow water, and it’s going pretty well. Look at all the greens that have grown from the top! A couple of them have even started to grow white rootlets off of the bottom. I’m not sure if this will end up in completely new carrot plants, but We’ll see…

dannyqhantom:

if only we all had inner dolphins

(via rhamphotheca)

madness-and-gods:

My fav gif ever

madness-and-gods:

My fav gif ever

(via minhtgod)

I dig the idea of digging someone.
Life lately

fuckyeahexistentialism:

kids books, reimagined

However this is the song that’s been governing my brain since last night. It’s not even a real song…….

Model by Li Ronghao 

Kinda reminds me of Aqualung in the 2000s and his voice sorta resembles Eason, but it’s been stuck in my head so whatever. 

It’s weird to hear the ily from my Asian papa. Maybe it’s an autocorrect? #immigrantproblem

Once in a blue moon, I would feel beautiful and worthy of love and all that jazz. Today is one of those days. I fell in love with life a little bit and thrilled to be alive. Nothing is as humanizing and positive as community service.

405 plays
王若琳,
午夜劇院

freewindcastle:

王若琳 - Pure Imagination
Album: 午夜劇院
Genre: Cover

Related music:Great Fairy’s Fountain & Pure Imagination